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Lorin Joy is a middle child, had older brothers and sister and younger sister and she always got picked on, especially during their younger years. It was them against her, but now that they are older. Lorin Joy is the one they all come to. During the most difficult times when her mother suffered from cancer, she is the one who stood by her the most and gave the care that nothing, even money could compare with.

Same goes with Ricky. He had many stories on how he felt left out because he’s neither the youngest nor the oldest. Sometimes this leads him to feel ignored; he strived hard to support his education, and strived harder to have a good job. Now that his financially stable, instead of feeling resentment for what he had endured, he would happily support the needs of his family, reasoning out that “If it’s the only way to make them smile at me, I would gladly give more to them.”

True stories of two middle children I knew… What is Middle Child Syndrome? How did Middle Child Syndrome affected them?

According to some research:

The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling. Being in the middle, a child can feel insecure. The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child. Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things. (click to continue reading)

We might as well say that Middle Child Syndrome, is a by-product of “favoritism”. Personally, in as much as the cases presented above are difficult to avoid in a normal setting of a family, the responsibility would still be on both parents, on how they would raise their children. And the middle children themselves, Lorin Joy and Ricky are both middle children but despite of that they have overcome the Middle Child Syndrome, they become responsible adult and most of all they didn’t allowed their painful experiences affect the way they should behave towards their family.

Sometimes, questions like why mom and dad didn’t made the effort for me to have graduation pictures during my high school? (for souvenir ). Or, why was I the one who should always do the household chores before? But nevertheless these questions are now source of funny stories rather than a cause of sadness.

And that makes me even more proud to be a friend of these two wonderful persons.

Related Articles:

Characteristics of Children According to Birth Order

Middle Child Syndrome

This information is interesting to know especially when it concerns the behavior of children in a family.

According to some researches, where a child places in the birth order can have an effect on how he sees himself. Research on birth order, sometimes referred to as ordinal position, shows that first born children are more likely to go to college than children in any other position in the family. These apply to “typical families” and probably do not apply to “dysfunction families” and may vary across various cultures. Parents should attempt to help each child to see themselves as unique individuals and avoid comparisons with siblings or others.

The middle child often seems to have the most negative impressions of his lot in life. One approach to help middle children reframe things is to point out that in a sense they have the best of both worlds. They are the youngest to the older sibling and the oldest to the younger sibling. Therefore they are both a big brother/sister and a little brother/sister. Younger children always want to be able to do the things older siblings are allowed to do. And older siblings may feel that the younger siblings get away with things they were not able to when they were the same age.

The following characteristics will not apply to all children in every family. Typical characteristics, however, can be identified.

TYPICAL CHARACTERISTICS

Only Child

•Pampered and spoiled.
•Feels incompetent because adults are more   capable.
•Is center of attention; often enjoys position. May feel special.
•Self-centered.
• Relies on service from others rather than own efforts
• Feels unfairly treated when doesn’t get own way.
• May refuse to cooperate.
• Plays “divide and conquer” to get own way.

First Child

• Is only child for period of time; used to being center
of attention.
• Believes must gain and hold superiority over other children.
• Being right, controlling often important.
• May respond to birth of second child by feeling unloved and neglected.
• Strives to keep or regain parents’ attention through conformity. If this failed, chooses to misbehave.
• May develop competent, responsible behavior or become very discouraged.
• Sometime strives to protect and help others.
• Strives to please.

Second Child

• Never has parents’ undivided attention.
• Always has sibling ahead who’s more advanced.
• Acts as if in race, trying to catch up or overtake first child. If first child is “good,” second may become “bad.” Develops abilities first child doesn’t exhibit. If first child successful, may feel uncertain of self and abilities.
• May be rebel.
• Often doesn’t like position.
• Feels “squeezed” if third child is born.
• May push down other siblings.

Middle Child of Three

• Has neither rights of oldest nor privileges of youngest.
• Feels life is unfair.
• Feels unloved, left out, “squeezed.”
• Feels doesn’t have place in family.
• Becomes discouraged and “problem child” or elevates self by pushing down other siblings.
• Is adaptable.
• Learns to deal with both oldest and youngest sibling.

Youngest Child

• Behaves like only child.
• Feels every one bigger and more capable.
• Expects others to do things, make decisions, take responsibility.
• Feels smallest and weakest. May not be taken seriously.
• Becomes boss of family in getting service and own way.
• Develops feelings of inferiority or becomes “speeder” and overtakes older siblings.
• Remains “The Baby.” Places others in service.

If youngest of three, often allies with oldest child against middle child.

You Can Also Read:

Stories of Middle Children

Middle Child Syndrome

According to researches, the middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging.

They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling.

Being in the middle, a child can feel insecure. The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child. Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things.
Being a middle child would mean they are loners. They really don’t like to latch on to a person in a relationship, therefore they have trouble keeping one due to lack of interest.
Not liking to take the limelight for anything, they are not over achievers and just simply work enough work to get by, and typically that goes with school as well as a career.
They are however very artistic and creative. If forced to use abilities they will work well, but do not work well under pressure. They often start several projects but rarely keep focused long enough to finish a project. The best career move for a middle child would be along the lines of using their creative. Going into a writing or journalism career, and into a career that they could freely express themselves would be good. Anything that would have hours that are flexible, and projects that frequently changed would be good for a middle born child.
Since relationships are not of high importance to a middle child, often times they are alone. However, the best possible match for a middle child would be a last born.   Some middle children also say that:

• The middle child feels left out b/c the oldest one is special b/c they are the oldest and get to do things first and have more responsibilities and the baby is special b/c they are the youngest and can get away w/ more so the middle child doesn’t feel as important.

• generally the middle child in a family is often over looked, not intentionally but it does happen, and this can leave an effect on the child such as jealously of younger or older siblings

• Personally I am a middle child in our family… ang take ko naman dito is madalas ang favorite kasi yung panganay o yung bunso…di ka pwede sumagot o sumuway sa ate mo, nagagalit din pag inuutusan o pinapagalitan mo yung bunso… and i can say its the most difficult place to be and you have to live the rest of your life like this…

You may also want to read:

Stories of Middle Children

Characteristics of Children